Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Battle of the Grinches!

haha My friend, Jessica, put up a lil "mean" poem on her status because we were making fun of her xmas cheer....this is what she said:

"I tried to get some damn good Holiday cheer
Then you bitches had to laugh and sneer
So I hope your snow mens melt
You wake up with great big welts
And you realize Santa doesn't exist...

- Jessica Grinch :p"



So then I responded with a little "poem" of my own...

"I'm tired of hanging stockings off of my shelves
And having nightmares of Santa and his gay elves
Beware, all who try to spread their silly holiday cheer
for I shall bombard you with spit balls, if you come near
I don't want any gifts, nor a kiss under the mistletoe
Just a bottle of wine, and maybe a drunk hoe
Preferably with no stds, for they really give me a fright
Merry Xmas to all...I hope Santa skips your house tonight!!!

Edward the REAL grinch >:-]"

haha Silly ain't it?!


Peace

Prank On Coworker

Too funny! My coworker went out to get something to eat and out of pure boredom, I decided to play a tiny "prank" on her. hahah I covered her desk with printing paper...and even did a lil drawing and put it over her Mac screen. hahaha good times. Her reaction was CLASSIC >:-]




Happy Holidays! :-P

Gone Til 2010?!

Yep...I might not be around til 2010. Not because I'm going away or anything, but because my pc is still busted. Today's our last day at work sooo unless this power supply that I just ordered works, I wont be able to post anything haha...Yeah...Im sure all of my -300 readers will be clawing at their scalps in frustration, wondering where I've gone. hahaha....Until then...


Peace

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

It Don't Mean a Thing (If You Aint Got That Swing)

Its a real shame that mainstream hardly has REAL musicians anymore...Dont get me wrong...there are quite a few really talented folks...But DAMN...not like back then! I think I was born in the wrong era...





The one that Ella Fitzgerald did blew my mind away too...hell..even the original with Duke Ellington was the shit!

Enjoy

Being Mean to Angie

I'm always saying outrageous shit to her...and she seems to friggin LOVE it. :-P

ANGIE!!!: I macked a number
*dances*

me: girls dont mack
lmao
im tired of girls acting like they're in control
fuck faces
did YOU walk up to HIM
and "kick game"
did YOU ask for the number?!
no
u did not
fucker
u just stood there
flicked ur hair
or at least u tried too
but it was so nappy ur fingers got stuck

ANGIE!!!: Lol

me: homeboy saw you struggling to get ur hands free
stopped to ask if u needed help
u cried n said yes
n yall stood there for 20mins trying
but couldnt
so then he was like "ok look...imma go get some tools to help free ya fingers
lemme get ur number so i kno where u at when i get the chainsaw"
hahahaha

ANGIE!!!: U an ass
Hahaha


haha yes. She's right. I AM an asshole. :-)

Peace

Random Fact of the Day

I was watching the history channel before heading out to work....haha Apparently, in the "ancient world", they had this dye that was made from snails...then and still now, its the most valuable thing in the world...2000 dollars for just a gram of it (the process of making it is so complicated n time consuming, hence why its so valuable)...back then only the HIGHEST of the classes would wear it....n even this one emperor was so into wearing it..that they made it illegal for anyone other than him to have it haha...its called Tyrian Purple. >:-]

Peace

Monday, December 21, 2009

Untitled

So...I finished it haha :-P Im not too sure if I ended it well enough..sorry if its no good.



I see cities of flashing lights
that create digital idols for our gods
who faithfully
we worshipped
15 minutes

Streets
populated by walking chimneys
bricks,
slim & thick for bodies
clouds of smoke, their faces
words spewed, cancerous

I see the land
outside our protective bubble
of ignorance and apathy,
a wasteland,
barren,
littered with Fathers, Mothers
Sons, Daughters
Brothers, Sisters
discarded.
Remembered only as characters
in tales of the "black sheep"
to instill the beliefs and fears
of the Norm
within the new bearers
of the Crest.

Legends
Martyrs, I see
born of criminals
Sinners turned to saints
baptized in lead and blood

Tall tales become historical fact
with false Teachers clinching to their manifesto
holding it close to their beating breast with one hand
condemning
pointing a finger to the world
with the other
all the while,
never taking note of the four pointing back at them

I see brittle hearts with cracked surfaces
longing
falling in with fickle moons
convinced they would always see the same Face
another endless cycle

I see a mirror
within, a hypocrite stares out
embittered
longing to bask in the ignorant green
on the other side
envious of the blind
wishing he could not see the world
as I see it.

My observations are these...



Ec 12/21/09



Peace!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Just Writing

This is what happens when I have tons of words floating around in my head. They leak out in these ramblings....I dont know what to think of this really...and I know its unfinished...But here it is anyway.




I see cities of flashing lights
that create digital idols for our gods
who faithfully
we worshipped
15 minutes

Streets
populated by walking chimneys
bricks,
slim & thick for bodies
clouds of smoke, their faces
words spewed, cancerous

I see the land
outside our protective bubble
of ignorance and apathy,
a wasteland,
barren,
littered with Fathers, Mothers
Sons, Daughters
Brothers, Sisters
discarded.
Remembered only as characters
in tales of the "black sheep"
to instill the beliefs and fears
of the Norm
within the new bearers
of the Crest.

Legends
Martyrs, I see
born of criminals
Sinners turned to saints
baptized in lead and blood





I know there's more I can add to it...but the words just wont come out at the moment...:-| Yet another unfinished work of yours truly to add to the list.


Peace

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tiny Mental Spew

haha...I was staring at a blank screen with my hands resting on the keys, and before I knew it, I was typing this:

"I envision sweet, flattering words turning to ash in the mouths of hypocrites. They, then, spew...poisoning all who injest. Vile disease spreading..ensuring that duplicity can never die."


Crazy eh?


Peace!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Just a "Talking Shit" Morning...

I must've woken up in one of those moods to get under people's skin today! haha All morning, I've either been talking shit or just ridiculously sarcastic to people! A few examples...


On my way to work, one of my friends texted me about how she apparently, went to sleep last night around 8 something..and didnt wake up til almost 9am...(it was 8:50 something when she was texting me, so i assume she had just woken up...) and that she was already tired again O_o which made no sense to me...so...I respond:

"You're lazy. Hit yourself repeatedly til you slip into a coma. Get at me in ten yrs when you have some energry. hahaha!" >:-] mean. I know. I know.

After I got to work...my coworker sends a mass email to everyone in the company (except for the bosses) sayint aht she wants to put together some kind of post card and send it to customers with group shots of all of us...So I, not being able to resist, click reply all...and attached photos I had taken of my coworkers taking out the trash. Then, I wrote "memories....light the corner of my mind..." hahahah Someone responds that we "CANT" send pics like that to our customer...n i go (very edward-like): "hey hey hey...i just feel that it would be great to show our customers the softer, more caring side of [[company name omitted]]...To you, it might seem like we're just taking out the trash...but to them...they'll see individuals who CARE about the environment!!!! :-) GO GREEN!"
I'm pretty sure a few of them are quitely hating me right about now...

After that, I was just joking around with my best friend Angie (you notice I talk a lot of shit with her?? haha) and I just came out of no where with this: "u kno what would be kinky for a hispanic to do? have either the guy or the girl dress up in a costume;for the girl,she could dress up in a statue of liberty consume.or if its the guy doing it,have him dress up as "Uncle Sam"...that way,FOR ONCE the hispanics could say that he/she is fucking America, rather than the oth...er way around. VIVA LA REVOLUCION!!! lmfao"

It was so funny, I even added it to my fb status...O_o just to see if anyone would say anything ahaha...


Yes yes. Its one of "those" days.


Peace!

Monday, December 14, 2009

Another Silly Convo

This time, I was talking to my best friend Angie. haha She's starting school soon and was telling me about it...

Angie: Well I have orientation Thursday
for school
then I find out that day my class schedule

me: AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angie: plus get student id

me: ARE YOU EXCITED?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Angie: :-)
Kinda

me: watch you meet some dude at your school now. someone with a FUTURE! fall in love n watnot. cant wait. lol
hopefully someone who speaks proper english
and uses actual WORDS to express himself...n not code numbers O_o
(This comment I made is kind of an inside joke about some "gangsters")


Angie: I hope everything turns out good
wtfffffff

me: it will :-D

Angie: lol
hahaha
nah nigga trying to fall back on the dating
lol

me: hahahah
you dont date
lmfao
i have never heard you say "im dating"
ive heard you say "i fucked"
lmaoooo
so u falling back on fucking? hahahahah
:-)
O:-)
dont stab me
its the cookies talking
i swear
kinda
lmao

Angie: HaHaha
U right
I can't stop laughing
omg
lol

me: i wont be a typical spic and swear on any family members...so...how about this..."word to that motha fuckin dog i think i ate when i ordered that chinese food" that its the cookies talking and not me
:-)


It was so funny to her, she friggin "demanded" that I put it on here :-P

Silly Convo

I was having this convo with my coworker online...The backstory to this is: We were talking about how our job is apparently giving many of us the run around with giving health insurance...I know at least one person has it...but idk who else. Personally, I dont feel like dealing with the b.s excuses and whatnot...ESPECIALLY for something that probably wont even cover me that well anyway...So thats why I was telling her that id rather get it on my own...But, because I am how I am, I couldnt resist saying something silly to her! Enjoy!

HER: you should keep pushing them for it

me: nah imma get it on my own

HER: there's no excuse for them to keep giving you the run around

me: during winter vacation, since i'll have the time, i'll get some

HER: ugh but that is so expensive

me: yeeeah

HER: I think you should keep pressing them for it
it would be cheaper if you got it through them than on your own

me: hrm
but what kind of coverage can i really expect
my friend was tellin me that she goes to this place that hooks her up

HER: what place?

me: Church
hahahhah
FAITH HEALING BABY! WHOOO!!!!!
LMFAO

HER: omg
lol
that's hysterical

me: i wanna have some random white dude, in a shiny white tux..hit me on the forehead with his jeweled hand and scream "PRAISE JEEBUS!!!"

HER: and it's FREE

me: and i'll throw myself on the floor twitching
and BAM! healed
:-)

HER: JEEBUS!!!!!!!!!! LOL
DYING
CRYING

me: hahahah

HER: LOL

me: O:-)


Peace!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

2nd Childhood

My friend put me on to this song...Nas - 2nd Childhood, if you really listen to what he's saying its craaaazy...Being in NY, I already know of a lot of people who this song could apply to...its a damn shame. s.m.h




Enjoy

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Insane Dream

I'm always having vivid dreams...some are actually reoccurring, throughout the years. haha It's insane...when I was younger I had multiple dreams about vampires and whatnot O_o (Most likely because I was soooo into them before!) Last night I had a pretty crazy one though...Here's what I told my friend when I was describing my dream to her:

"oh lmao well it was crazy...ive had that dream before just different details...basically what happened was that zombies or zombie-like people had taken over and i was really locked in my apartment with my mom n two other people n we had guns....n i saw that some kid was riding his bike outside (why, i ahve no clue) n some zombie was about to get him....i had to take a gun with a scope (not sure if it was a sniper rifle) and kill them both..but that gave away our position..so they came charging at my apartment...they ended up breaking in and my mom n someone else was taken :-\.....me n the girl (the other person in our group) ended up escaping through the fire escape...and as the dream progressed, we ended up meeting other people...two people who i actually know in real life..haha and we were just hunting these creatures n trying to stay alive n watnot....towards the end of the dream, the military actually shows up..telling us that some kind of radiation (or heat, idk) that doesnt harm us...was killing the zombies off...so we made it through alright. hahaha"



Crazy right!?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Eddie's Aim Moments

I'm almost having stuuuuuuuupid conversations on aim and/or gchat...So why not share em!? :-P

I was talking to my friend Juliana

Me: www.xpeeps.com

Her: is that a fucking porn site?!

Me: porn sites dont fuck
hahahahaa

Her: wtf lol


haha Peace

On My Darkest Days (Thursday's Truth)

Because I am a cynic and sarcastic and just plain twisted, on my darker days, I seek to offend. I try to find the perfect blend of humor and meaness and just toss it out there. Then I sit back and twirl my thumbs, musing over who just might get their panties in a twist (ive always loved that phrase) over what I just said, and or posted. :-P I was at my worse when I spent time on myspace...Id post some of the most outrageous, offensive bulletins...but itd be sooooo funny (To some). And thats how I met my,now, best friend. haha good times.


Since I find myself in one of those moods, let me share some pics I've found...Im deeeeeefinitely going to put this up on facebook...I already know some of my "friends" will get a lil irked by these. >:-] Can't wait.









Please. Be mad. >:-]

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Undercover Fat Face

Haha yeah. My friend calls me an "undercover fat face" whenever I tell her that I'm eating any kind of junk food. She says undercover cause I'm always publicly ranting about working out and trying to eat healthy...meanwhile, I might binge on chocolate for a weekend. hahah This weekend was no exception! I, on a whim, bought two bags of Reese Mini cups and proceeded to devour it...(Im waiting for the pimples...damn..) When I was eating em, I had the random idea of just taking wrappers and wrapping them around eachother to make a ball...every time I'd finish a cup, I'd just keep adding it to the ball. haha Last night I finished the last of the second bag and completed it.

So here ya go...Proof of my "fat-facedness" :-P




Peace!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Only In America!

Now, my friends know how much I love talking shit about my "beloved" country. lol However, to prove that I am not completely unpatriotic...Allow me to dedicate this post to this "great" nation....


Only in America ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America ... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke.

Only in America ... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put, our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we will not miss a call from someone we did not want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America ... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America ... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


God Bless America.....O_o lmfaooooo

Peace!