Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Make Up...



Don't get me wrong, ladies...I appreciate the fact that you wish to take pride in your beauty....but uh...


Do you REALLY need every day to be Halloween?



The fact that you love make up so much....tells me that you CLEARLY don't like your face and wish to hide it from the world as much as possible. haha

Friday, November 25, 2011

GOBBLE GOBBLE!

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving! :-)

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Possible Solution To Office War?!

You know how in every office there is ALWAYS a "war" going on about room temperature. When its summer, there's always a few people who want to put the AC on all times...while there are those who want to turn it off cause its "too cold" for them (boo hoo weaklings...). And no side is ever mature enough to compromise on this...So.....why not let technology take over?

How sweet would it be if they came out with "smart" clothing? Clothing that you could preset to a certain temperature...and would work to keep your body regulated to that exact temp...so if it senses that your body is temp is higher or lower than you want it..it would either heat up or get colder so to bring your body back to a comfortable state.

The applications are endless...I wonder how that would work in sports...it would probably help athletes with fatigue.....would def. help workers who deal in cramped super hot environments...


GET ME SOME MONEY AND A TEAM OF SCIENTISTS, IMMEDIATELY!!!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Hump n' Repair

On my way to work, I stopped at a red light and stood there looking at the cars rushing by. New York drivers. A van caught my eye in particular. It was a plumbing service and had its logo on the side. "Pump n' Repair." It seemed so funny to me because, in my mind, I'm saying, "Wow. This would make a great escort service." Can you close your eyes and picture the advertisement for this? Hump n' Repair your broken heart. Hump n ' Repair your self-esteem. Hump n' Repair your damaged ego!

Yep. I should work in advertising.

Peace!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Tryst

Ring. Ring.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Want to do something, tonight?"

"Something or someone?"

"That's entirely up to you."

"When and where?"





Dont you wish life was that simple? lol

Monday, September 12, 2011

Just A Thought.

You know what I hate? When people (including myself) think about their life and wish that they could go back in time and do things differently...It sucks because if you REALLY manage to do such a thing...most likely, your changes would lead you down a totally different path in life...and you probably would never meet and/or get close to a lot of the people you're close to now....so now it comes down to how much we value our current connections...and whether or not we'd sacrifice them for a potentially better life.... O_o

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

This Is Torture

I want to write so badly. But, the words won't come out.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

I'm Just Saying

I hate it when a bunch of nobody's get into heated debates about which politician sucks the most. News flash people...YOU elected them. So you're pretty much stuck with them until the next election. Get over it. Stop worrying about crap you can't control. Why not focus on the stuff you CAN fix....uh...like your alcohol problem....or maybe the fact that you're daughter's a slut and your son's a dumbass. Those seem like good causes to debate about.

I hate politics though. The only time I ever got a tiny bit interested was when Hillary Clinton wanted to run for president. I got a bit excited at the idea. I said to myself, "Hey...a woman already damned all of mankind by eating that apple. Its only fair that a woman finish the job." For all you heathens out there, that was an Adam & Eve joke. Do your research. Book of Genesis. You dont even have to read the whole thing. Read the cliff notes: Some hungry ass girl was walking around the garden of Eden, eating up every damn thing (as most hungry ass girls do...) when she came upon the forbidden fruit. She knew she wasn't suppose to eat it. But you can't tell a female what to do nowadays, what makes you think you could tell her back then? So she ate it...and force fed it Adam. God gets mad, and she blames it on a talking snake. (Really? That's the best you could come up with?)

No really...is that the BEST excuse that popped into your head? "A talking snake made me do it." I dont know what amazes me more, the audacity of her coming up with that kind of an excuse, or the fact that yall have kept it going for this long. I would love to see a guy try to pull that off. Ladies, you walk into your home and find your man sleeping with another girl. You start to flip out and he starts saying, "baby baby please. baby please wait a minute. I can explain.....A.....talking snake made me do it."

But I digress...Yeah...I would've found it interesting if Hillary would've gotten into office. I would've laughed if the first thing she did in office was send the secret service to assassinate all the members of the Lewinsky family...you know...just to show n****s, that Hillary doesn't forget about things. This one holds grudges!


And I know..this may bother some of you...but hey.....I'm just saying.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Office Postings (Hilarious)

I just found these too funny for me not to post. Enjoy.







Sunday, July 24, 2011

Untitled

Yet another short short conceived in the shower. haha. Enjoy.

John took a deep breath as he stepped closer to the edge of the cliff. He pushed a small pebble off the end and stared apprehensively as it fell. A light summer wind blew by and he close his eyes. Good day to die. He mused, morbidly. John could feel his heart thumping loudly. He looked up at the sky and wished his wife was still with him. But she was already gone. She's waiting for you on the other side. The thought comforted him a little, even strengthened his resolve. He had to jump. He wanted -- no, needed to do it. Let it all go. The worries. The doubt. He needed to be free of it all. John took one last deep breath, closed his eyes again, and finally stepped over the edge. He felt the wind on his face and opened his eyes again. He wanted to take it all in, if only one time. The world, though rushing by him, seemed to slow down. Everything that had once weighed on his mind disappeared. A sense of peace had come over him. He was free. A tiny smirk appeared on his lips as he reached up and grabbed a small object on his shoulder. He pulled it and his descent slowed rapidly as the parachute shot out of his backpack. He slowly glided down to the target area where he was meant to land. A feeling of relief swept over him. Jane stood looking up at the figure that was slowly gliding down. She smiled, proud that her husband had conquered his fear of heights.

Friday, July 22, 2011

The Map

First time writing in a long while...way way way too rusty lol But here goes.


Prompt from Daily Writing Practice

Luther stared up at the sky frowning, straining to recall what he learned years ago. Let the stars be your guide. Let them help you find your way. Janice stood by her husband's side with her arms crossed. She tried to be patient with him, but could not understand why he was being so stubborn. "Honey, we're going to be late. Why don't you just-"

"Let the stars be your guide...", Luther interrupted, reciting his mantra.

"What?"

"I know what I'm doing. Don't worry. We'll be on our way in just a minute."

"Are you really looking at the stars for direction? Look, we're late enough as it is. Stop goofing around already and lets get going!"

"Let the stars be your guide.", Luther repeated, becoming more frustrated. A few minutes elapsed and he looked down at his watch. He glanced at his wife who stared back at him frowning, with her arms still crossed. "Alright, alright. Fine."

Luther and Janice returned to their car and turned on their GPS navigation system.

"Happy now?"

"Very."

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Google + vs. Facebook vs. Twitter

Not Dead Yet!!

I am sorry. Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. :-)

Don't worry...I'll come up with some writing very very soon.